Bad mother/daughter relationship?

My mom and I have had a crap relationship since I was a teenager. I admit I was defiant, lousy, and sorta alienated myself...but mom was a psycho stalker who wouldn't trust me from the beginning and made me beg to do anything with friends...so my stupid teenager brain told me to REBEL...I moved out right at 18 and never looked back. My mom didn't know how to be a mom...she stayed with my chronically anebriate of a father, allowing my siblings and I to whitness every hellish fight and indignity. She's always been extremely neurotic and just down right hard to deal with. Fast forward to me being almost 30 and I can't hug her or say I love you and I'm easily annoyed by her and I find mydelf not wanting to please her..like hiding my achievments and things because I don't want to give her the satisfaction of pride or hear her say 'see, I knew u could'...it would just make my skin crawl. I don't hate her..I'm just so angry at the things she's put me through and the past she won't let me forget..always refering to my teen years as 'the bad days'..makes me want to put my head through a fricken wall. On top of it all, my brothers turned out useless and dependent on her and my sister is a spoiled brat who can do no wrong. And I take care of myself and ask for nothing and get shafted when it comes down to my wedding that's coming up...question is, is this normal? Will I ever grow out of all this resentment? Am I just the classic black sheep?