Please evaluate my dark poem!?

I like it. I think a poem flows better into readers' minds if it rhymes. I don't know how, but it just does. In addition, I like how you wrote it so that people have to think deeply about what the poem is trying to say. It gives them ideas and gets them thinking. Your emotions are clearly conveyed through punctuation, which is good. Don't use too many exclamation points though, or it could get tiring.