Ummm idk haha wierd *** question?

You can say i'm the type that is dark, mysterious, unafraid, and most of all...HEARTLESS. I walk through life with my head down, a hellish look in my eyes, not caring or showing any physical, emotional or spiritual love for any thing that walks on this earth. at a young age I was never told "I Love You Kyle" or "Your the best son" and as the years progressed I have learned to cope with this. I've never had a girlfriend even tho I had them lining up at my front door. I guess to summarise what i just aid is that....I never was shown affection, love, caring, or even a congradulations onall my straight A's. and it's not like im ugly I'm 6'4 200lbs dark brown hair with blue eyes and a body that can be resembled to say...idk...the rock! I guess the big question I am asking is will I ever feel love? will I ever find peace or happiness? regardless of your appreciated answers I feel that I have permanently fuckd my heart up and I have sincerely abandoned my family, friends, everyone.